Here is my story
My life has been truly remarkable and wonderful, and I wouldn’t trade it for anyone else’s. I cherish every moment, surrounded by a loving family, with enough to eat, plenty to keep me occupied, and a clear purpose in life. What more could one ask for?
Despite all the joy, it hasn’t always been easy. But, I’ve found a way to overcome the challenges.
Medical Issues
At 26, I was newly married, in my second year oft.aw school, and pursuing a master’s in business administration from an university in Silicon Valley. I was also a third-degree black belt in ju-jitsu, a testament to my good health. My mother died unexpectedly at age 32 from a heart attack. Little did I know, I had inherited my mother’s bad arteries, and life was about to take an unexpected turn.
At the end of the year, I suffered my first heart attack, and the next year, followed at age 27 by two more heart attacks. (The doctors told my wife to say goodbye; they didn’t expect me to survive the night.) I wrote my first book while recovering from a heart attack, as I couldn’t attend class. I wrote California Real Estate Law: Cases and Materials for extra credit instead of attendance that semester. (After 45 years the book is going strong and now in its tenth edition).
Olden Days Book Publishing
You will probably laugh when I describe how my publisher handled my first book in the “horse and buggy days” before mini-computers and desktop devices. I hand-typed my 300-page manuscript double-spaced and sent the original to the publisher, keeping a somewhat messy carbon copy for myself. Two months later, a box arrived with 300 pages. Each page had sticky notes attached. There were two-to-six post-it notes per page from their Proofreader, questioning punctuation, a misplaced word, or grammatical error. I read, answered, and initialed each of those thousand sticky notes.
Once, I mailed it all back, I was given galley proofs to read the typeset pages of my book. After carefully reading the material, initialing, and “signing away my life;’ I returned the packet. Then, months later, the publisher sent me the final pages of my typeset books, and I had to index the book. It took over 100 hours and three boxes of 3×5 cards. I sure do not miss the “good old days:”
18 Months to Live
Sadly, at age 28, I underwent open heart surgery, which was still very new, as insurance companies had just started covering this operation. It was so new that when I went to another hospital a few months later, all the one hundred nurses came down to see an open-heart surgery scar. The operation was successful, but the doctors said, at best, that I had 18 months to live and get my affairs in order. My affairs – all I had were a ton of law books, a car, and a few thousand dollars in the bank. You can adjust to anything. Fortunately, I could accept my illness without a problem. I did not feel like half a man because I didn’t have the strength or endurance of my peers (although I did for about a year at age 26 with my first heart attack). I found that family and friends are loyal but don’t know how to react to you. As long as you are comfortable with yourself and put them at ease, they will see you as a person and not as your disease. My adjustments and how I accepted life and found great joy in living led me to write two books, Burdens of the Heart and Live, Don’t Let Cancer Become Your Life.
Get a Real Life
I took the Dr. Meyer Friedman Course, Type A/Type B Behavior. At the time I started the course, I was working five days a week as an attorney, teaching two nights a week as an adjunct professor at a local university, and considering writing a second book. The course made me realize I was caught up in a work-trap, where I was getting my rewards from achievement, not from family and what mattered in life. I changed my law practice to four days a week (and surprisingly my income didn’t go down. I just rejected the “bad” cases). On my day off, I taught one night class. I spent the rest of the time with my family, and I made sure I went to all my son’s school games and activities.
Finally, when I completely retired from law and teaching, I began writing more books. My wife and I also moved from California to be with our son and his family. I found that love and friendship are always there with family and friends, but you must be there for day-to-day activities (in person or by video conference) to maintain closeness.
Conclusion
I am closing with a quote from Immanuel Kant, who wrote that a good life is one where we are “doing what we love, knowing someone to love, and having a sense of purpose.” We should also try to be compassionate and avoid harming others. I have always found his philosophy a guiding principle.